I have to say I have been less than sanguine the last few months, the weather certainly hasn’t helped. The recurring annoyances of my work haven’t helped, nor has the fact that the holidays are upon us. I absolutely hate them! The idea of having to appear all happy-happy-joy-joy with people with whom I share genetic similarities, fills me with dread. I absolutely love my family, I just don’t like my family or any ones family during Christmas. Plus, all I want to do is sleep. It is dark when I wake up, and dark by lunch, I want to sleep, drink, eat sweet treats and hibernate.
I was even in the sun for 3 weeks and yes there was a slight improvement, but it just didn’t return me to my normal jovial self, I wasn’t getting my mojo back. What was it? I could place my finger on it something was amiss, and I didn’t realize it until this evening.
The thing that was missing, and of course I was completely unaware of this missing factor contributing to my overall less than rosy attitude, until a moment of epiphany when I was warming up Mr. Pinky for action. I needed to do DOM!
In the last few months I haven’t been seeing as many Dom clients, for one reason or another. So progressively I haven’t had the usual outlet for the venting of my frustrations. Those several times a week Dom sessions that would just set things all right with the world, recalibrate me, give my cheeks ( and those of some poor sub) a rosy glow, were the thing that kept me my adorable loving self. I didn’t realize it, but I was missing the sweet, white, quivering flank of some willing slave for me to lacerate. Or a lovely virgin bum to roger senseless with Mr. Pinky(my neon pink 8″ dildo). Or some gentleman wanting an execution fantasy, where I decide to go all Dexter on his ass and cling filmed him to the bed and scared the shit out of him for the better part of an hour with various props, I purchased from the local costume store. Or having someone to tie up and shove in the corner and kick, or to make clean the toilet with their toothbrush, or eat cold baked beans, or the best one yet, make them have sex with an oven ready chicken, after smearing them in strawberry trifle and peeing on them. Oh what fond memories. Ah, I have indeed missed Dom.
Well, the penny dropped today after my third Dom session in a row, and I started to once again get that lovely feeling of euphoria after a good Dom session. When after exerting myself, little beads of perspiration would appear on my skin, I would have my subject right where I want him, I would have total control of the situation, and at the moment of my choosing I would end the session and send him happily on his way. This would be followed by a feeling of total contentment. Yup I have indeed missed Dom. The joys of inflicting pain on someone and being paid for it. What could be better? It is a hell of a lot better than therapy. 🙂