A client made a shocking admission to me, which made me feel creepy and disgusted at the same time. Basically he admitted to having had bareback sex with another escort. Now that admission was shocking, but it was the story of his whole life falling apart after that was amazing to me, and the fact that this man still visits escort and will probably engage in unsafe behavior again, because it really isn’t his fault.
Now to say that his life fell apart because of bareback sex would be untrue, but it was just one tiny pebble in the foundation of what is a very troubled life. Basically, he hasn’t grown up or gotten over the fact that his parents died. Now we are not talking about a small child having to deal with the death of his parents, but a grown man. And as a result he has used this as an unconscious justification for all of his bad behavior, and when blaming dear dead mom and dad wasn’t enough, he started blaming his wife. Because he plainly stated it is his wife’s fault he started to visit escorts and ask one for bareback sex! At this point in the conversation, I had to resist the urge to bitch slap him. Idiot!
Through gritted teeth I said, “No, it isn’t her fault, it is your choice. You choose to visit escorts because of your wife’s decision to not have sex with you.” He looked at me perplexed. He couldn’t see how he had made bad decisions.
So, he continues telling me the story of how he compounded the problem of having unsafe sex with an escort, when she asked him not to climax in her. Well, you all probably know what is coming? He did exactly what she asked him not to do. Which caused the escort to freak out, accuse him of raping her(this logic is also lost on me), and promised to call the police.
Well, she made good on her threat, called the police, who went over to arrest him, and what does he do? He tries to kill himself! Not with a gun, or jumping our of a window, but by stabbing himself in the chest! I don’t know what shocked me more, the utter over the top reaction to police visiting his home(wife was in at the time-poor woman), or the fact that he chose the stupidest method of offing himself? The jury is out on that one. I by this time have scooted to the far end of the bed, and am staring at this man in utter revolution, slack-jawed, and speechless. Jesus Christ! Is this what really lurks within? I was seriously happier not knowing about it. Where is there a willing sub when a girl needs one? So, much more in touch with their dark side, and willing to find a constructive outlet for their frustrations.
Then the though begins to run through my mind, why on earth is he telling me this? This has added nothing to our encounter, and if anything, will prevent me from EVER seeing him again, and probably black list him to other escorts, because he is in my opinion a tinderbox of issues and sexual frustrations just waiting to explode. Did he want absolution or forgiveness? Or was it is some twisted way him bragging? I will never know, or to be honest want to know.
I am seriously considering adding Counseling as an extra to my other services.