I have meet Mrs. Doubtfire

I have meet Mrs. Doubtfire

And he/she is an escort! Yes, indeed he/she is, and they are alive and living in Scotland.

Envision, a tall, blond, blue eyed rather good looking young man of about 25, deep baritone voice, and escort and gay. We are having lunch and chatting, then his phone rings, and before my eyes is gone the young man to be replaced with his female alter ego. I almost choke on my lunch, and have to get up and leave the table for fear of bursting out in hysterical laughter. Before me sits my male companion chatting to a client in a lovely falsetto female voice. The mind is boggled!

You see my friend is a guy, who works as a male gay escort, a TV, and pretending to be a TS! Confused? You are not the only one.

But apparently according to him, men prefer to think he is a chick with a dick, instead of a guy in drag. Men are indeed some strange creatures.

Absolutely Fabulous, well maybe not anymore.

Absolutely Fabulous, well maybe not anymore.

Absolutely Fabulous has got to be one of my favorite shows, I mean the scenes of Patsy wiping her nose would have me in stitches. So, when I saw there was a new season, I slapped on the p-jammies, grabbed a tub of B&J-Cherry Garcia, downloaded the new episode, fluffed the pillow, and readied myself to fall of the bed in hilarity. Only, that isn’t what happened, it was more like watching a train wreck, and not being able to look away. I sort of laughed, because there was nothing else to do, my ice cream melted because I was eating it so slowly, more a repetitive movement-spoon to mouth-pause-stare at screen-shake head in disbelief-put spoon in bowl-repeat. Dear god! Have we all aged so much?!

Patsy looks about as white as the coke she was so famed for snorting. Edina’s face has stopped moving all together, not to mention, she has put on a few pounds, but haven’t we all? Saffy, has wrinkles, and Bubbles is way too old to continue being called Bubbles. Over all, I felt the everybody was just going through the motions, and locked into character that 10 years ago were funny, but now are just tired.

Ok, I am off to watch episode 2, I just can’t help it. All that botox in one room is too much to resist.

Belle Du Jour-A Thank You………..NOT!

Belle Du Jour-A Thank You………..NOT!

Am I the only hooker on the game who wants to smash their size 8 Christian Loubatains into this females face until she is unrecognisable? I have been on the game for ahem-cough a few years. And never in the whole time of my illustrious career has there been so much attention on us. The Secret Diary of a Call Girl, has every out of work wannabe trollop flinging on a pair of Primark knickers and Office shoes and thinking she is ready to go on the game because she has a pussy. Trying to explain that they are not going to make a grand a day, and that not all clients will look like Brad Pitt, flys right over their heads and hits the back wall.

This series has completely and wrongly glamourised this business to the point that even I didn’t recognise it any more, and was beginning to wonder what planet she was working on? Now, I have had the luxurious holidays with clients, and the fabulous gifts, and the serious high rolling nights of non-stop partying, but they didn’t happen every day, and they didn’t happen every month even. Most of the work we do is grunt work, the normal every day gents who pop over for a half hour of pleasure in a hectic day. They are not handsome, they are not young, and they certainly wouldn’t cause a girl to swoon at their sight. But they are respectful, clean, pay up front, come on time, and skip out happily after the service is over not to be heard from  until the itch hits again. Bless them all.

This over romanticised version of the job we do is simply misleading and damaging when the young woman in question realises that it isn’t all parties with handsome rich men on Aquariva’s. Or worst of all, when the dawning realism hits that SEX is actually involved. Escort is just a euphemism.

Then there is the idea that we are all living this super glamourous life, and driving 60 grand sports cars. We in this business have many levels just like any other profession, there are those ladies who make a mint, and there are those who manage to pay the bills and have a bit extra. Not every singer is Beyonce. And not every escort is BDJ.

Well, hopefully the media will get bored with all this talk of prostitutes and escorts, so we can all get back to the whole point of the exercise, which is having discreet consensual sex and fun between adults.

Back from the dead, with membership!

Back from the dead, with membership!

Membership has its privileges. I am not referring to the elite status of owning a platinum Amex, or  the uber rare black one. I am talking about that lucky or un-lucky  accident of birth and geography, citizenship. Now, I am lucky enough to come not from a first world country, but from The first world country, the USA. This does cause a certain kind of immigration arrogance when clearing borders. Passing immigration in most countries is relatively easy, you flash your passport, they chat you up,  get a stamp and off you go. I mean in most countries they love Americans. Right? Traveling in Europe is even easier now within the Schengen countries, I don’t even need to flash said little blue book. Brilliant! So, sitting cocooned in this blissful state of first world-ness, why would I want to become a member/citizen of an EU country?

Well, where do I begin? For one thing once you have broken free of the brain-washing about how great the US is, you start to realize that there are other countries that also have hot running water, indoor plumbing, and the natives wear clothes and walk upright. You discover they don’t eat their young(except in Longford-rumor has it), you can eat the food, and not die on the spot in most cases the quality of the food is better, and not all purple soda is grape-thankfully.

So, now I have the unique privilege of having dual citizenship to two first world countries,what does this really mean? For one thing clearing borders within the EU has just gone from queueing in the Other Passports line, to queueing in the EU passports line, which always seems to move faster. I now get to find this out first hand. My new passport will be pristine and stamp free, unless of course I travel to Asia. UAE, or the US. Advantage no. 2 is I will no longer be quizzed by UK border patrol like an asylum seeking refugee immigrating from a country ending with ..stan, they do really go over board with the stupid questions. No.3 whilst traveling within the EU countries, I won’t need a passport at all, I can just use my ID card. Yippie. No.4  the biggest advantage to me having an EU passport, is the fact that I can apply for a Privium pass! I have always wanted one of these things. I mean seriously, if having an EU passport means shorter queues, then Privium means no queues at all. It scans the iris and fingerprints to identify you. You just walk up, pop your card in, scan your vitals, and poof, that is it you have just cleared immigration. Yahoo! I mean seriously I have just cut my time at the airport by 30 mins, and we all know how I just love the girls and boys at airport security, so anything that gets me in and out faster is good all around for everyone.

But the best one of all is no. 5 is the fact I can no longer be deported to the US for illegally working in Ireland!  Not that they ever would, god love the garda, they are rather loath to bring work down on their heads. So, as long as you are not disrespectful to them, they are quiet happy to pack you off and send you on your way, with a light slap on the wrist. Even the one time I had a problem in a small town, the garda asked me to leave and threatened to make a note in my passport, so it would be difficult to get back into the country. Brazen hussy that I was, I kept going back for months after that incident, and when some bright spark did decide to check my passport, and the notes came up, they just handed my passport back to me and told me to go on. Bless them.

Charity Begins at Home

Charity Begins at Home

I am sitting in my bed, feeling like left-overs from a rave party, in other words I am feeling like crap. So, what do I like to do on a Sunday morning feeling like crap or not, is to troll the web looking for stuff, fun, interesting, otherwise. Now like most people who do tend to be totally self observed in our own lives, we hear about things but unless we are directly affected by them we tend to disregard them. So, I am updating my websites for my new upcoming tour, and deciding what will be the special for the Month of February, last month it was OWO included in the hour price, and some small discounts. But this month I have decided to give to charity namely this charity, Haitian Earthquake Response. So, here is the deal this month: “OWO for Haiti” Basically it works like this, OWO is an extra, but I will ask you to make a donation for that extra, which will then go to charity. At the end of my tour I will make the donation, under the name of Violette Dew, with the a Comment: “Friends of Violette”. Now, for those of you who will try to take the piss, and offer 1 euro for charity and receive OWO in return, there is a minimum donation amount, which I will tell you in person.

I know things here in Ireland are tough, but people, you have it good in comparison to the people suffering in Haiti at the moment. So, cum see me, have a bit of fun, and give to charity at the same time. You will have done the deed, and a good deed all at the same time. How is that for feel good factor? Kisses Violette

My New Photos

My New Photos

Just back from London yesterday. I went to get a new set of photos from my official photographer Joe K, The shoot was held in a lovely Country House/photo studio in Surrey, it was quite elegant. At one point during the application of my make up, I could see foxes running around in the back yard. I didn’t have my camera with me, so no pics. I am planning another shoot in the summer, so hopefully I will get to see the new family additions. Ohh baby foxes. Anyway enough about furry creatures and here are some of the results of that shoot, enjoy: